How to get your Groom Involved

Today we have guest blogger Jeff Kear, who runs myweddingworkbook.com. I was able to take a tour through the site and navigate it on my own for a bit to become familiar with the tools and how it works. Now, I talk about the need for simplicity in the wedding industry all the time, and this site delivered it. Obviously wedding planning is an intricate process, so these type of sites can only be so simple and still cater to all needs. But I loved the fact that I didn't have to sit and think about how to do something, it was all pretty straight forward and simple! I have to say, all of these are incredibly smart ideas. Here you go!

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I'll speak for all guys when I say that most of us would rather pound sand than go look at wedding cakes or shop for centerpieces. However, even though wedding planning isn't naturally in our DNA, we have made a commitment to the woman we love to be her life partner, and this really begins with helping out with the wedding.

Most guys believe it's safer to just stay out of his bride's way and let her take over (and in some cases this is probably better for everyone). But for most couples, the bride-to-be really doesn't want to do everything herself and would love to have help and input from her guy. This is when guys need to cowboy-up and do whatever you can to create an event that reflects you and your bride.

Just a warning to women ... I'd be lying if I said we are highly competent at all wedding planning tasks. For example, don't assign us with choosing the wedding colors unless you like the colors of the New York Giants (or whatever his favorite team is). And don't give us responsibility for the flowers unless you really, really like red roses (it's pretty much the only flower we know).

However, there are a few key tasks that I think would be right up our alley, and they are...

1. Interviewing the bands/DJs - We guys usually know our music, and the great thing is that we usually share the same musical taste with our bride. So assigning your groom to find and interview musicians or DJs for the reception is a great task for us.

2. Keeping track of the budget - Most guys also know their way around a <a href="http://www.myweddingworkbook.com/" target="_blank">wedding software</a> program or spreadsheet, so when you're making purchases, the two of you can consult and he can track what is spent and if you're on budget. That's great teamwork.

3. Picking the cocktails and drink menu - I'm not sure I need to say much about this, but if you're guy doesn't jump at the chance to pick out the types of beverages to be served at your reception and negotiate with the venue, then you may need to check his pulse.

4. Negotiating with vendors - Guys love to haggle, which is why we probably like car shopping so much. So when you're at the point with a vendor when you're negotiating price, bring in your groom to be the heavy. At this point, you've probably built some good rapport with the vendor and like them, so you can be the "good cop" and your groom can be the "bad cop" who is driving to get the best deal. That way, you get a better price and still get to be best friends with your vendor.

5. Interviewing/sampling prospective caterers - I can't think of a better day than one in which I'm visiting nice facilities where people are bending over backward to please me and serving me lots of samples of their best cuisine. Pitch it to your groom this way, give him a fork and get out of the way.

6. Running interference with family and friends - Brides get pressured from many directions (mothers, aunts, friends, etc.) when you're planning a wedding, but you don't want to step on feelings or want people to feel like they're not being heard. So sometimes you need someone to lay down the law, and that's a good role for us.

7. Serving as cheap labor - Need someone to stuff and seal invitations? We've can handle it. Want someone to glue ribbons on your centerpieces? We can do that, too. We've mowed lawns and painted fences for years, so whatever manual labor you want to throw our way, we can take care of it.

Hopefully this gives you a good start, but the best bet is to sit down with your groom when you start the planning process and divvy up responsibilities from the start. Happy planning...

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So what are all of us brides thinking about this??? Pretty darn smart huh? I think the groom honestly does want to help, but I agree, give them tasks that don't involve making decisions that you care more about than he ever will. Tap into his talents and have him handle the stuff he is good at!

What suggestions do you have for other brides, what is your groom helping out with?

Save Me Time and Tell Me What to Expect.

Photo (and top text) from Signals vs. Noise blog: "Refreshing to see a design firm publish what their services cost and what you get with the engagement. –Design Vineyard’s site"

I had to post this because I whole-heartedly agree.Within the wedding industry, we have the same problem. Most vendors don't seems to display much help in terms of pricing info, and it honestly couldn't be more annoying. Going through the hassle of e-mailing every single vendor  you MAY be interested in just to get pricing info is ridiculous and incredibly time-consuming for the bride, not the mention the vendor who has to reply to way too many inquiries of unqualified pospects.

I checked out a venue and when they found out about this blog they specifically asked me not to post anything about their pricing on the blog. Their reason, "We don't disclose pricing because we want all couples to e-mail us so we gain their contact info and we know everyone that is interested in our space." Well, that sounds good in theory, but the problem is, were they ever interested in your venue? Or were they interested in getting pricing info so they know whether or not they can afford being interested in your venue?

I know that my budget is tight, but I don't think I am the only one. The way I don't go over budget is by knowing the prices before I know if I can fall in love with a vendor and their work. If I can't afford it, I can't fall in love with it. That's just the bottom line.

If the point is to make your customers and potential customers happy, it shouldn't be an issue to steer some people, who couldn't afford your product in the first place, away to be able to give more focus to those that are at least qualified to work with you. Display your pricing structure (or at least a range) and then  you will only get qualified leads who you can actually spend quality time on pursuing and brides can spend their time focusing on finding the vendors that fit their vision, both creative and monetary.

Survey Time

As you may have caught on by now, I am very interested in creating a unique experience for brides-to-be! I want to put the power back into your hands and simplify your wedding planning experience instead of making it more stressful! I want to gain some feedback from Brides-to-be (or anyone else with opinions that they would like to share!) so I can find out what it is YOU really need and want from the online wedding community so that I can deliver that to you! If you would take a minute (it's a really quick survey!) d and add your opinion to the bunch, I would greatly appreciate it!

Click here to start the survey

Thank you oh so much!

Venues Tips

Source: Villa Viscaya, Murietta's Well, Los Gatos Opera House.

Source: Bernardus, Highlands Inn, Carmel Valley Venue

I need a little wedding break so I can get my thoughts together and re-focus my vision BUT I can't re-focus my vision until I find the venue! So the search continues.

After looking at a few venues, I am sick of the time it takes to get any real information. So as brides, what can you do to get the answers you need and fast? Venues need a few details to give you pricing info about their venue. Here are some of the following.

  • What day?
  • Afternoon or night wedding? How many guests?
  • What month? Give a few if aren't completely sure.
  • If they are the sole caterer let them know if you prefer Buffet or Sit Down.

Send over an email with that relevant information and request a quote from the venue. This way you get a final answer instead of trying to figure out and calculate how much you will pay.

What tips do you have for keeping all your inquiries together??? Let me know which other areas you would like tips in as well!

Girl Talk, Blog Talk

Photos By: Cooper Falk. "Models" Liz, Melissa and myself. I have talked about all of them on my blog and will continue to show off their wedding plans and inspiration!

When I began to create Engaged and Inspired, I wanted it to feel like a bunch of girls talking and getting excited about all the different wedding ideas. I wanted to excite brides and above all, help them.

My inspiration for the blog came from my very own BMs. There is nothing like having girlfriends to talk to and there is nothing like creating the most amazing day of your life with them by your side. Those people in your life are irreplaceable, and having them help keep you calm to make all the decisions, then stand by you as you say "I Do" is fantastic.

So, for the blog header- I decided to go with something personal and unique. I wanted something that showed the bond of girls and joy of planning a wedding with your best friends. So I used real people planning real weddings who all know what it's like planning a wedding.

I want the blog to represent a place where you can always come for help, advice and inspiration! E & I is always here, and would love to be a part of the wedding planning bond between you and your best friends.

30 years ago

While I wrap myself up in all the wedding planning, I tend to forget about what's next. This past Christmas, I was reminded about all that was in store.

It all started when my mom opened a present from my dad Christmas morning. It was a burned CD that said "30" on it. He took us into his office and played what was on it. A 20 minute video of pictures. Pictures of when they were dating,  their wedding (30 years ago),  pregnancies, babies, Christmases, houses they had purchased and all the memories that came with them. This, accompanied with a song from their first date and another which was my favorite song as a child, and some really funny pictures mixed in created something which we both laughed at and cried about. At the end my mom opened her second present, a photo album with every picture on the CD in print and in order so we could look through it whenever we wanted. It was rather inspiring to see.

Our wedding will be one amazing event, but what's even better is to think about the fact that our wedding will lead us a place where we will build up mountains of memories, build a family, and build a life together, something which up until now, has never been available to us. Of course I am excited about the wedding, but I am more excited about what the wedding will lead to, a marriage! In 30 years, I don't want a new ring, or a new house-but the chance to look back at the lives we have created together.

I Can't Thank You Enough!

Thanks for visiting Engaged and Inspired!

Photo By: Cooper Falk "Models": Liz, Melissa and Allison (me!)

Hello! I want to greatly thank you, my readers, for your unconditional support of me! After reviewing the stats, the traffic has been up and up every single month since the launch. I only care about this because I can see that you guys are really responding to my writing, and that means so much to me! I am getting to know the brides to be and the amazing vendors, and I thank you for allowing me to be in your lives and inspire you!

When I started Engaged and Inspired, I had high hopes and major dreams of where it would lead. But hopes and dreams are one thing, and making those actually happen is a whole other! I was nervous because after having a fashion blog, I definitely know that blogging is not all it's cracked up to be. There are writer's blocks and uninspiring moments, so I was pretty nervous when I would drop this and move on!

This blog is just short of 4 months old, and if anything, I am getting stronger and stronger! My fiance and my friends have been an incredible support to me, these are all people I could never live without. They are amazing. Besides that, it is you guys, my readers, that keep me going day by day! Knowing that someone is listening makes me want to post the absolute best content I can. You make me want to move this blog to new levels and you inspire me.

I want to thank you all so much. There is no special date or reason to do so, I just want to thank you for reading, for interacting and for caring! I am so excited about the new features Engaged and Inspired will have soon. There is so much in store to help brides-to-be and vendors. Engaged and Inspired will revolutionize the wedding industry by adding simplicity and giving the brides and the vendors the resources they need. (Much more to come on that later!)

As far as my WONDERFUL sponsors, I thank you so very much for believing in me as a "new blog" and taking the leap with me! Without your support I can take this blog to the next levels and bring you all with me! I wouldn't be able to do all of this without you, so I greatly thank you :)

When I started Engaged and Inspired we were all engaged to be married. Now we are all planning our weddings, and we are all in eachother's weddings! The first is in May, the second is in September, and the third is next March. I don't know what we used to talk about as more recently it is wedding central! The three of us constantly inspire each other in so many ways, which is the feel that I want my blog to have as well; friends constantly inspiring each other :)

I look forward to many more months and years of friends inspiring friends!