Hey lovelies! Today has gone by without me even realizing it! Oh how I hate mid-week holidays that set my week off :) I have posted a photo of the lovely dress I chose for my wedding day. It is over on my Facebook page for you all to see. And tomorrow I plan on having a crazy dress commentary unlike any you have ever heard. So get ready and get set.
Are you ready for the first look? Last night we received all of our wedding photos! I spent some time last night looking through them all. I have yet to see the full collection of which I am super excited about, but so far, so awesome! Here is a shot of Ian awaiting my arrival.
Because I am sort of nice I am giving you not one but TWO teasers of what is to come. I'm not ready to show off my dress or the best deets of the wedding. But here is an amazing shot of him and I just hanging out.
Enjoy! I hope to get the show on the road shortly so I can show off everything and download about all the juicy details. But that, as we all know, must wait.
Of course our amazing photographers were Jason + Anna Photography.
I know these posts aren't always the prettiest, and you would rather look at photos all day, but if there is anyone out there that wants a little advice on being smart with the budget so you can afford all that goodness you see in photos, here is my two cents. I can't say that I am an expert, so I am just going to tell my story. I have to start by saying two things so you understand the type of person I am. First, I realized a long time ago (probably when I was 19) that nothing in this world is worth being in debt. The whole concept of debt is absurd to me, if you don't have the money, don't spend it. I also know how much easier that is said than done. So I try my hardest to follow my own words and not promise to pay money I don't have at that time.
Second, I grew up fairly comfortably thanks to a set of extremely hard working parents. I have always been very conscious of money and always felt bad about my parents spending too much money on me. Maybe the bride's parents pay for the wedding in some cases, but I actually refused such an arrangement. I would never make them do that, no matter how much money they had.
So here we go. At the beginning of the budget planning the parents agreed on an amount each would give. This was a great start and left Ian and I with the rest. I had a wedding savings account for about a year before we got engaged which added a bit more to the plate. I set aside a certain amount every month without fail for this.
I set the budget around $20,000 at first. But told everyone I ever talked to about it, and even myself that it was $15,000. I really believed that and thought with $15K for as long as I could. It actually helped me a lot.
The first thing was the venue. Some of you may know about that story, but it was long, gruesome, and so not fun (more on that here, here and here). After about a year, I finally decided on Holman Ranch. I had been admiring Holman for ever and ever, but it was always just out of my price range. After the ultimate burn from my basically dream venue, I decided to call Holman anyway. First off Hunter, the girl in charge of events, was absolutely amazing. I was not used to people being so nice and helpful. She told me that there were options such as off season and a Friday. Both of these things cut the cost down by almost (not quite) half. Though it was more than I wanted to spend on just the venue, I knew that this was the place.
To make that possible though, I would have to get the catering at a very very low price and Holman let you bring in your own alcohol which was another extremely important element to me. I remember spending a day calling every catering company on Google asking them if they could fit my budget. I got about 1,000 no's, but I didn't care. I was not willing to budge because I just couldn't. Finally I got a phone call back from Paradise Catering saying they would work with me. I am so glad they did because they were beyond amazing to work with. So professional, and I heard MANY people say that it was the best wedding food they ever had.
Without Paradise, I probably wouldn't have had my wedding at Holman Ranch. But the total cost for venue and food was actually LESS than I was planning to spend if I went with most other venues. Score.
With the venue and catering nailed down, I began on the search for vendors. Luckily my photographers are absolutely amazing, but not break the bank status. Photographers can be quite pricey, and I totally understand why, but I lucked out that I got great pricing and the amazing style of photography that I wanted. Jason + Anna Photography were the clear winners here without interviewing anyone else.
I worked closely with each vendor from there on out to get the best value for my dollar. The florals for example. I had a very tight budget, but I wanted wild flowers not some super expensive over the top flowers, and I only wanted a small amount. I worked with them to make it worth it while at the same time making sure the prices worked for me. I was lucky enough to have some amazingly helpful vendors would were willing to work with budgets and let me know what alternatives I had.
One thing I was not willing to budge on was my dress. I knew that my dress would have to be whatever I found and fell in love with no matter the price. Of course I had to fall in love with a Melissa Sweet, but the good news was I got in on sale at least. I planned to sell it after the wedding to help with the cost of it though.
Every time I received a chunk of money I would pay the vendors I already booked as opposed to paying for new things. Each vendor was paid in full months before they were supposed to which allowed me to keep a very accurate count on how much money I had and how much I still owed. I also set aside about $1,000 for last minute items which I didn't use until about a week before the wedding. But, I swear, no matter how much planning I did, I was hit with expense after expense in that last week, I felt like I was writing $1,000 worth of checks every day! So, I totally recommend buffers, because you will need them.
There are always comprises in a planning a wedding. Personal preference is really where the decision making process on this comes in. We decided not to do transportation services and save the $1,000 there. We didn't rent outside tables or Chivari chairs and saved several thousand there. I didn't worry about the videographer until about a week before the wedding. Then I had to decide what to do about that. At the time I made the decision I needed to make. I had no money left and I really didn't want to come back from the honeymoon with a several thousand dollar debt. It didn't seem like a good way to begin married life. I opted for the cheap videographer and I regret that every second. I regret that I didn't make it more of a priority in the beginning, or didn't plan for saving a few thousand extra. I have already watched the footage I do have so many times, and it just doesn't do the wedding justice. It is great to see the speeches, the ceremony and everything else, but it is so amazing what a well shot well edited video looks like.
So there you go. Everyone makes mistakes, but I am at least lucky to have what I do as far as the videography goes.
Overall I did really well and stuck to the budget I had set in the beginning. I DIYed a ton of stuff which I can now sell, I am selling my dress, I got some great deals, and with every decision from the beginning to the end, I made sure it was a good use of my budget. Some things weren't so much, but I am not perfect.
To sum up a few things, I would say to pay vendors in full, always know how much money you have exactly, walk away from things you NEED and decide a week later if you still really do need those things, and cut the things you think won't add any value to your wedding (like for me it was the chairs, tables and transportation.) If you have any other questions of me, or want to know what I did about certain things, feel free to e-mail me.
Ok the wedding is fast approaching. I am feeling a little bit of everything right now, seriously. It's all mixed into one big fat giant ball of emotion. This has been a totally amazing year and a half. I started Engaged & Inspired January of 2010 with absolutely no idea what the wedding would be like. So, it is pretty safe to say that you all have seen this thing develop from start to finish, right here on this blog. Over the past year and a half I have been through the ups and been through the downs (such as the venue fiasco). I have always been able to count on you guys to be there to pull me out and get me on track again. That along with the amazing e-mails I get from readers, the wonderful support I get from bloggers, and the great people I have been able to meet through this journey. I am so lucky to have had the support and company of you all. I am so happy that I have been able to share this process with you all and that you all have welcomed me with open arms.
I need to take a moment here to give it up for some of my uber-amazing vendors that will be there Friday to finally make this day a reality.
THE VENUE: Holman Ranch
This was by far the toughest process for me, but in the end I found the most amazingly perfect spot to host the wedding of my dreams. Nestled in Carmel Valley, Holman Ranch was everything I wanted from the outdoor backyard feel, to the barn and even the firepits.
THE PHOTOGRAPHERS: Jason + Anna Photography
After meeting these two at Lizzie's wedding (and becoming fast friends) it was evident that we were their's as well. Since that time, they have done some incredible work and become even more amazing than they already are. Not having them there would be like not having our friends there. Needless to say, there is no one we would have rather had there to shoot our big day besides them.
THE FLORIST: Floral Theory (Wildflower Event Florals)
Yasmin of Floral Theory is one of those people that you just trust with your wedding life. She knows her stuff, and she makes everything look amazing. I am so excited that she is going to be there on our big day. And any time you feel the need for a florist, she is definitely your gal!
THE PLANNER: Shannon Leahy Events
Shannon Leahy was one of those pipe dream vendor crushes that I have had forever. I never thought she would be the planner for my very wedding, but I am so incredibly happy that she is. If there is anyone that has had to deal with me being crazy, setting my sights to high, and going through the stress of this whole thing, it is her. But she never says no and just makes it happen. Totally incredibly both as a company and as a person, Shannon is the best planner/designer I could ever ask for.
VINTAGE RENTALS: Milkglass Vintage Rentals
This was a slightly last minute decision, but Milkglass agreed to help out with the wedding with open arms. In the past few weeks she has not only taken ridiculous amounts of stress off my plate, she has been incredible to work with and has actually made this wedding better than I could imagine.
THE GOODBYE AND SEE YOU SOON
There are many many other people that have helped out with this wedding and will be there to strut their stuff and show their magic in making this day possible. There are also numbers of people including Etsy sellers and locals that have contributed to making this the totally unique and personalized wedding I wanted.
Thank you for all your amazing support during the process! I am signing off as of now to finish up all the last minute deets and logistics before the big day. Then, Ian and I will be off to Australia and New Zealand to galavant around as a newly married couple.
You will be left in incredibly good hands while I am gone with some fantastic guest bloggers and some amazing real weddings in the pipeline. I will be back at the end of April and Engaged & Inspired will continue on to inspire more and more brides for their upcoming weddings.
Goodbye for now! When I return I will be Mrs. Silber :)
Yesterday was quite the day in terms of disasters! But as of this morning all of them are basically under control. 1 week people! 1 WEEK! I have decided, as far as the videography goes, that I am just going to get someone to shoot the wedding while also having Flip cameras, people's personal video cameras, etc. and from all that, my friend can put it all together in a nice little video for us to enjoy. True, it is not the glorious video that we all see on the blogs, but from what many of you have said, it just really isn't as worth it as you think. Crisis averted there. And we still get to have the rehearsal dinner :)
Today's decision revolves around the bridesmaid dresses. The others have been returned and we are back to square one. I love the idea of white textured dresses, but I think my dress may be a bit too textured for that to look good. So, plain it is. I am still thinking cream though. Either way I need to make a decision ASAP.
And just so you are all aware of who was going to be our videographer, it was Elysium Productions who has some incredible work.
Holy Moly! Little intro is needed due to the fact that I am sure eveyone knows by now that with 9 days left, things are getting a little nutso.
First off: I don't have all the table cloths I need. We have about 6 lace table cloths....so, if you live in SF or the Bay Area somewhere and you have like 5 lace table cloths, and want to lend/rent them to me, I'll be your BFF.
The bridesmaid outfits are in question as of now. I think we are doing white (which is turn changes the ENTIRE BM bouquet situation). I'm thinking white bridesmaids simply because it seems to be the smartest option in terms of what we can get on short notice. By white, I mean a sort of white/cream situation. Lace would be incredible. Here are a few I picked out so far.
Credit: lulu's, lulu's, lulu's, lulu's, lulu's, lulu's
All those are well under $100 (which is nice) and these are increds, although a little more on the pricey side.
And lastly but not least, the videographer. Oh the videographer. I was planning on Craigslisting a shooter then giving it to a very talented editor I know and having him do it. For like $300 you can't beat that.
Although, I know what you are all thinking, eww. Don't worry I am too.
Yes I basically live and breathe weddings, but I am also a girl on a budget that plans to stick to it and be practical about all of this. Weddings are crazy. Since it is one day it is so easy to spend and spend and spend forever until you are basically out of money. I have been very smart up until now. Everything has been budgeted for, nothing is on credit cards, everyone was paid in full months before they needed to be. I am on the money aspect. But this last week is getting out of control will all the last minute "have-to-haves."
So now this is my thought process, videographer or rehearsal dinner? I know it's totally horrible but I am not a massive fan of the rehearsal dinner, especially when I could spend that money on something like a wedding video that I would have forever! Something that would show friend and family moments, speeches, and everything we are doing!
I know that many people would be very unhappy to hear such a thing....and I doubt his parents would even seriously consider yanking the rehearsal dinner, but a wedding video definitely trumps an hour worth of dinner. Just saying!
So, I have to figure that out. And I would love your input. If you did do videography, was it worth it? If you didn't, do you wish you just has SOMETHING or do you wish you had the epic video? I might want to make it known that I have paid for a lot of this wedding, so my main concern is that it is my money that I could be saving for futures, babies, etc. See?
Also, white BM dresses? I know I opened this up on Twitter a little bit, but thoughts here would be nice :) Especially now that you can see what type of "white" I am thinking.
I feel like the need to write the countdown number daily these days. 9 days. Ok, now time to download a small part of my mind right here. I learn something new every day, go figure. Last night I was freaking out for many different reasons (maybe because I have a wedding coming up in 9 days??). I somehow began looking at Holman Ranch weddings. I don't quite suggest looking at weddings done at your venue so close to the wedding, but I will say that waking up this morning, I had a realization of sorts. First, I will post the wedding that was done at Holman Ranch by Carlie Statsky that led me to all these new ideas.
So what did looking at this wedding 100 times teach me? Well often times the only photos of wedding that you see are saturated in details, and gorgeous ones at that. I don't find anything wrong with that, and actually I quite love it. But, it tends get you strayed away from something far far more important. The way in which Carlie captured this wedding was totally different. She captured moments, guests, people having a good time, and love. You can see feeling, emotion, love and SO much fun during this wedding.
After seeing this wedding I realized how detailed focused everything has been that I haven't even pictured where guests go! I then thought about all the amazing friends we have that are coming up from Los Angeles and flying in from New York and Boston. These are all people I haven't gotten to spend all that much time with since high school or small trips.
I am really good at learning lessons when it is almost too late. But (and I know people have been telling me this) essentially nothing else will matter once I get to see all these people showing support and love while Ian and I finally make it all official. :) And seeing as this love started in 2002, it has been a long time coming.
And if it hasn't already been said, I am basically in love with Carlie Statsky as of now, for capturing real moments and real love. She would totally be my girl if I didn't already have two (totally amazing) photographers! Oh and OMG that bride is gorgeous.
Planner: http://www.coastsidecouture.com/
Several vintage rental companies have been popping up around the Bay Area, and I might as well just say it, I absolutely LOVE it! They all offer something different and something unique. Though I have always loved the idea of vintage rentals, I have been quickly set straight just by looking at the pricing. I totally understand that the time and effort warrant the price points, but it is a little too rich for my blood. Milk Glass Vintage Rentals got in touch with me and as always, I feel in love with her collection and the site. Seeing as I have two weeks left, barely any money left, and a long list of stuff left to buy, I figured this was of course out of my range. But, I was pleasantly surprised to see the pricing. Everything was actually affordable. It actually made sense to "rent it" instead of pay less to buy it myself.
So in case you are in the market for the selection of pieces that she has (obviously every rental company is unique as a reflection of their personal "found" style!) this is a totally great site to check out. Needless to say, you will see lots and lots of additional pieces in my wedding due to this last minute find!
YAY.
2 weeks. 2 weekends and we are there. The stress is starting to leave me (thanks to my amazing planner and my amazing BM's who helped me get most all of the DIYing done last weekend!) and I am starting to get super anxious. I want to put on my dress so bad :)
If I have learned one thing about this process, it is that sometimes it is ok to cut things down. I was so in love with the idea of adding a cusion to each guest's seat. LOVED the idea, but in the end it was more worth it to put the money elsewhere.
I also changed up my table clothes last minute. I love the idea of burlap, but so close to the wedding, with so many things to pay for still, I couldn't get behind spending $300 on just burlap. There had to be a better way, and well, with the help of my mother, there was. A long long time family friend of ours collects table cloths. She gave me free reign to search through her closets and pick and choose a variety that would work. Needless to say they will all be a little bit different, but all white, and textured and honestly really awesome.
So there you have it. Things are still changing. But, things are changing for the better. I am learning that I won't need all the frill when I am actually standing at the alter. I will just be happy to be standing in front of him!
3 weeks and counting and unfortunately I can't say that I doing the best right now. There are certain things that I am not happy about (and further basically in tears over) but the reasons for which are far more than you signed up for by reading this blog post so we won't go into that any further. I think it sums it up perfectly just by saying that the point when I am under much stress is not really a great time for the shit to hit the fan, but such is life. So here are my updates as I close in on the final weeks before the wedding.
This past weekend was major crafting central, from tables numbers and favors to signs and escort cards ( and literally everying in between) the girls and I got SO much done. They are such good little workers.
We even got a little extra help from a very productive little kitty.
On another subject, I have a totally new obsession with small handbags. Recently (and maybe it is because I am starting to obsess over finding the perfect future diaper bag) I have been loving the idea of an over the shoulder bag. It just seems so convenient. And as far as traveling goes, I want something small to keep the important stuff for outings in Australia as opposed to lugging around the 10 pound bags I am used to. I picked up this little Marc Jacobs number and I already LOVE it. I can't seem to keep it off my shoulder.
There are so many other fantastic clutches in season right now. The colors and designs of any of these give any outfit a little pop. Love.
These and more at Nordstrom
Lastly but definitely not least, I am seriously missing the one person who would always listen to my mid-life chrisis moments, totally understood everything I would say and always make me feel better. I would probably feel a hell of a lot better if I could just get it all off my chest.
